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For the second year in succession, we visited Bridport, Dorset for a bank holiday weekend of camping delights. Quite why we visited the exact same place two years running I am not too sure. But having fulfilled my organisation quota this year with Tenerife, I was steering well clear of the hornets nest that is Gomez-with-an-idea. We had slightly fewer men this time round but our location was vastly more horizontal, which is definitely what you want when you lying next to a South African ox. The neighbouring fields, which were empty last year, were full of bovine beasts this time and it is surprising just how much noise they make. Normally when I see cows it’s alongside motorways and they seem quite silent creatures. But spending a night in a field next to them you find they actually flood the night air with hideous sounds, one might associate with Gomez finding the fridge empty.

Speaking of fridges, the food situation was only slightly less dire than last year. Gomez and Fusco took the responsibility of providing food for the group and I think they listened a little too well to our criticisms of last year. We went from having three litres of oil to none, loads of spam to none, too many onions to none and oodles of pot noodles to none (well that’s not strictly true). I just don’t understand what goes on in the head of a man who buys four cans of beans between eight people on a camping holiday? Or why you would save 4p buying a tiny, glass tomato ketchup instead of a squeezey but buy one of the most expensive lagers, Hoegaarden? I would have honestly been happy with some cereal, which we did have but there were no bloody bowls! And crisps, oh my god CRISPS! Yes, I agree they are a good snack food to have in such a situation but there was no need to have thirty bags each!

Weather wise I think we were a lot luckier this time. We were able to spend a long, lazy afternoon on the beach, where the lambs played shit-cricket and the men went in search of treasure; a search that did not go unrewarded. A towrope that must have been used to tether down a gargantuan ocean liner was unearthed by yours truly and promptly taken back to camp where it lay unused for several hours. But then with a bolt of inspiration I suggested we string Gomez up by the neck and drag him around tied to the 4×4. Regrettably, this did not happen but it did get the ball rolling and soon after we had created our very own Jackass type stunt. With the rope slackly tied to the back of the 4×4, we used a burst rubber chair as a sheath and the evening dew for lubrication. Gomez then put the pedal to the metal and we were flung around the campsite like a water skier on laughing gas. We should be grateful to Caleb the brave for taken the first few voyages and getting others involved. Unfortunately, the photos of this came out a little dark, but you get the gist!

All in all a good weekend in the wilderness and some great photos which start on page 2.

P.S. If you’re using Firefox, you might want to read this first.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, September 1st, 2005 at 9:09 pm by Hopkins and is filed under Holidays. Comments are currently closed.