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Chip and pin is fucking brilliant. It’s safer, faster and cuts down fraud, but that’s not why I love it. I remembered this week just how much I hate having to sign my name on credit cards. It’s a skill I simply don’t posses. I must have been off school when they did the lesson on how to produce a signature and I must have also missed the follow up lesson on how to put this signature on a camouflaged, plastic strip the size of a fingernail.

Time after time I would find myself causing a hold up at the checkout where I’d be made to sign my name two sometimes three times; all of which would be different and none of which would match the one on the card. It’s embarrassing to say to least, but it shows the stupidity of the process, as I’ve never once been refused service.

But with the introduction of chip and pin, I thought my troubles were at an end. No longer did I have to feel like a spastic every time I went to Tesco’s. Purchases were smooth, swift and pain free. It seemed that it no longer mattered what was on your signature strip these days as no one ever needed to look. Which is why I didn’t mind so much or more to the point, didn’t request a new card when my dad signed his name on the back of my new card!

We share the same initials so he does frequently open my mail. Annoying as this is it usually doesn’t cause too much of an issue. Why he signed a card for a bank he doesn’t even have an account with I do not know, but an honest mistake nonetheless. The real problems began last week however, when I attempted to withdraw a large sum of money from this account. The bank manager realised that the signature was wrong on my card and refused to believe it was as honest a mistake as I claimed. I had to fetch my passport and drivers licence and this is when the real fun and games began.

I had to replicate the signature on my passport which of course I couldn’t do, added to the fact the signature on my drivers licence did not match the one of the passport. What followed were some of the most ridiculous security type questions I have ever been asked for example

How much money did you withdraw from you account six months ago today?
At what time did you last use an ATM?
How long is a piece of string?

Of course, I couldn’t remember any of these useless facts and in the end it didn’t matter because they just gave me the money! Which only serves to re-iterate my point that signatures for security is completely pointless and even when you’re as stupid as me and can’t replicate them, you always get away with it but are just made to look a tit in the process.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 28th, 2005 at 3:03 pm by Hopkins and is filed under Personal. Comments are currently closed.