Spring Break 2007
“Oh my God I love your fucking accent, where are you from, Australia?”
So the story begins…Myself and Mr Garnett put our asses on the line and decided to try and conquer America. How did we fair? Well I’ve certainly never done so much travelling before, on our list was
- Philadelphia
- Indianapolis
- Florida
- Chicago
Not forgetting a quick stop off in a few states along the Bible belt including Kentucky and Alabama. A very wise man once said to me
The difference between Americans and English is we think 100 miles is a long way and they think 100 years is a long time.
And after 14 hours in the back of a car Old Man Harris, you are not wrong! Our first week consisted mostly of this Spring Break thing in Panama City, Florida. I had heard of it before, but nothing could prepare me for stepping onto the beach the first time and seeing so many stunning American girls all tanked up to the eyeballs on cheap beer. MTV cameras recorded young lady after young lady make tities of themselves while hundreds of other young ladies cheered them on. I of course was shocked and offended by the scenes and quickly retreated to my hotel room to make the most of the tea making facilities, of which there were none.
Florida was quite a funny place. Everything was so over the top, literally every second car was a huge 4×4 and the rest were even bigger pick-up trucks. The people spoke with a real twang but on the whole were very accommodating. As well they would need to be with so many drunken spring breakers on the prowl. I must give the yanks 10/10 for effort but they really cannot hold their drink and me and Mr Gannet had enormous fun watching them get legless on 2-3 cans of Bud light.
The second week we mostly found ourselves in Annapolis where we pretended to be students with Overall and his runner bean mates. When we were not being dosser students we were either huge land tycoons looking to invest in the new Trump Towers in Chicago, on a golf scholarship members of a British band or simply on vacation. The problem when you go down the line of pretending to be something you’re not so many times is you forget what you’ve told and to who. Myself and G were so bad that by the end of the second week we might find ourselves talking to a set of girls with him telling one half a complete different story than me. Sounds petty and very shallow (which it was) but was exceedingly amusing.
I met so many real characters on this trip. Our legendary house guest the Parrot who’s lady skills were matched only by his toilet unblocking dexterity. JP, who was the angriest wigga I’ve ever met. Lovells who reminded me of a bumble bee on speed. And of course the real bread winner PAT! God bless America!!!
Hope you enjoy the photos:
If you can’t view flash, go to page 2 for all the photos…
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